Posted Dec 11, 2023
I don’t know if this is something that happens much in others’ brains, but there are a lot of words and phrases that, when I hear them, activate a lightning-fast chain reaction through a series of associations that can be… let’s say atypical. In most cases, I end up blurting the final thought out loud moments after the trigger word was said, and this tends to draw some concerned looks (at best). It really feels like a knee-jerk for me, reflexive, as if I don’t participate in the decision to say the thing but instead it leaps from my mouth as if being pulled directly from my psyche into reality. Word trigger —> Jillian’s brain —> response, before I’ve even fully parsed the auditory cue with my conscious mind.
I was trying to explain these strangely robustly trained responses to someone earlier this week and I realized I don’t have a written log anywhere of all my weird little prompts, and of course to have any chance of remembering something properly I have to write it down. I’m a bit curious how many of these associations I have, so I’ve decided to make a list. I’m writing it publicly because then, rather than having to verbally explain the bizarre thing I just said, I can simply send a link. Work smarter, not harder! I’ll occasionally make updates if/when I remember (or generate) more.
Now let me clarify; these are not words/phrases that make me think of song lyrics. There are WAY too many of those, and my brain is WAY too full of lyrics, to list all of those here. This is only a collection point for non-musical associations.
They’re not all completely unhinged, but the first one is, so… yeah. You’ve been warned.
Focus —> Ficus —> Kill your parents
The explanation for this one is gonna be a little lengthy. I have spent a lot of time listening to a podcast called Small Town Murder, in which 2 comedians review a murder case set in a small town, first giving the history of the town to give some context and backdrop before telling the story of the crime. In episode 104 from a case in Dallas, Oregon1 the culprit tries to plead insanity, and in an attempt to prove this, indicated that they could hear the forest spirits and that the trees told them to commit murder. This, naturally, is material the comedians run with, at some point speaking as “the murder ficus”. This was a popular bit among listeners, thus it ended up becoming merch, featuring a photo of a ficus with a speech bubble that says “kill your parents”. I have a button with this motif attached to my large monitor on my desk at home.
K, so —> queso —> cheese
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory, “k, so” sounds like “queso” which means “cheese” in Spanish.
So… —> Sew… buttons to your underwear if your pants won’t stay up
I can’t really defend this one. I have absolutely no idea where I first heard this or who I can blame for imprinting this weird “joke” in my brain.
What time is it? —> Time for you to GET A WATCH
I love dad jokes. I’m a founding member of the #dad-jokes channel in my company slack. I can never, ever resist making this joke. This is the most reflex-like of all my trained responses.
Yes, Dallas is really the name of the town, despite it almost certainly being founded after Dallas, Texas. One of the things you learn by listening to the history of a bunch of small towns is that nobody who was founding towns in the US had a single creative bone in their body. Lots of “New {X}town” and “{Founder’s name}sville”s. ↩
all of my friends truly hate this and most of them have learned not to ask this question around me anymore; when someone unknowingly does ask, they already start groaning and rolling their eyes before I can even get the words out. I am very proud of this elite level of annoying I have achieved. ↩